Yoga and Attitude

Background:

I almost always have good intentions when it comes to stretching, but laziness or impatience usually kick in.  The net result of this is that I wind up only stretching about 1-2 times a week for only about 15 minutes each time.  I have a love/hate relationship with stretching.  I recognize the benefits, but dislike the process, and I have never been flexible.  I always got screwed in the President’s Fitness Challenge in elementary school.  I would sail through all of the requirements until I got to the dreaded sit-and-reach.  This was always frustrating/embarrassing since all of the girls could reach a full hands-length below their feet while I struggled to get my hands past my knees.   Lately, I have been feeling that my lack of flexibility is contributing to various little injuries that keep cropping up and has been potentially hindering my performance.  With that in mind, and my general reluctance to stretch, I decided to sign up for one month of Yoga classes.  Since the 1 month pass is for “unlimited” classes, my goal would be to try to go at least 5 times per week.  I figured that going to a class will force me to stretch for a full hour and build strength in a bunch of mostly neglected muscles.  Prior to embarking on my 1 month yogathon, I had been to maybe 1 or 2 yoga classes and had decided that yoga pretty much sucks, a lot…. Which brings me to Attitude.

Attitude:

                  I can summarize my dislike of yoga by saying that all of the poses are uncomfortable/hurt, even the so-called “easy” or “resting” poses.  In addition to that (and probably more significantly), I don’t like being bad at things.  It is frustrating to watch people do things that I can’t do, and to do them seemingly without effort.  I always think to myself that “I must be working harder than they are” or “there is no way they are suffering as much as I am” when, in reality, they are likely thinking the same things or have at some point.  I am sure that everyone experiences this in whatever it is that they are pursuing from music, to sports, to knitting, but it still sucks.  So, as I have been taking my yoga classes, I have been finding myself dwelling on these negative thoughts.  Thinking about how stupid I must look, or how much harder I must be working than other people (if they only knew…), how I wish yoga studios weren’t so hot, how I wish we didn’t waste so much time on “focusing on our inner light” and other more spiritual matters and just got to stretching (I am not really in the mood to be relaxed and contemplative at 6:00 AM.  If I am going to get up early I want it to be doing something, otherwise I should have just slept in!).  What I have realized is that, despite the yoga instructor’s clear instructions to relax and focus on the present, I fester and dwell on the negative.  So, the other day I decided to stop this.  Stop focusing on the negative and just try to embrace the experience.   If I stop dwelling on the parts I don’t like I may have time to savor the parts I do like.  And it has worked, for the most part.  Yoga still isn’t my favorite thing to be doing at 6:00AM (or any other time of the day), but I am able to appreciate the experience and focus on the benefits (both physical and mental).  I have even found myself looking forward to it – not so much for the yoga, but for the chance to practice living in the moment….to practice getting stronger, physically, but, more importantly, mentally.